Today has been quite depressing for me... and yes i know alot of ppl are happy... i was doing my chinese homework before having my chinese tuition today and it was talking about when a student goes through a hard day... a very depressing one... when he goes back home, he just wants a warm home... a home where his family members just talk to him and make him feel relaxed... and i related it to what my home is like... i mean, when i reach home from normal school days.. my family just asks me to study and study.. i mean, even when i'm sick they ask me to go for tuition... doesnt anyone care for me other than my studies? In school, teachers stress us, in tuitions, teachers stress us.. and now at home when i thought i could just relax with my family members.. what did i get? my parents just ask me to study... and study..

Where can a student get rest when all around him is stress? i don't know.. and sometimes suicidal thoughts come into my mind... feeling so stressed up and when u thought ur parents understand u.. they just don't...I do go to friends for help but they can only be there for awhile... and what about the rest of the time? sigh* Cases of why students are committing suicide is because nobody understands them, when the pressure just is too much for them to take... and yet sometimes the parents just continue to add pressure and stress to them... and yet when they die then do they realise their mistake, but isnt it too late? why do parents always say ' i should have done that, i shouldnt have done that... ' only after the person is gone.. and yet others choose to follow their mistakes and think that it wouldnt happen to their children.. but they don't know the danger they are in...

Students already have so much stress and yet here comes additional ones to keep them occupied... to keep them so stressed up that their putting masks in front of their parents to tell their parents that they still can handle all the stress they are in, so that they don't disappoint their parents... but on the inside, their dying of fatigue.. and yet the parent don't know... their dying in the inside... why cant parents see it... Parents are suppose to be one source of support for the children.. but in this generation, where studies and scoring good grades are so important, the parents just forget that students are humans too that need rest... they too need to play, they too need to destress...Yes, they forget and they continue to add more pressure on the children and make the child more stressful and make him or her more easily to break down.. isnt parents who give too much stress to children get? the child breaks down... Yes they do... and yet the parents think that it wouldnt happen to them... that their children is still happy and cheerful on the inside and outside.. but actually they are suffering... suffering because they can't get the rest they need so much... but who am i talking to? no adult is goin to come here and say " Yes, thats true, thats why so many children are breaking down" I guess this post is not going to impact anyone...

Moving on to a different subject... sigh* i dunno how to put it but, yes i know we're drifting apart... and yet, i try my best to make time for you.. and you just say that your too busy... i tried my best to keep it goin.. and yet ur here saying u don't have time... I mean, i'm trying to patch things up.. but you don't seem too keen to do that... i don't even know what you want now... i tried and tried to give you what i could.. to try to patch things up... to build our relationship to make it stronger.. but what are you doing? But by the looks of it.. its gonna fall... i mean.. i try and try to make it stronger but it doesnt really matter does it? In the end, if this thing only goes in one direction, it will fall... we built it up to only watch it fall...sigh...

pushing on..