Tired.. its been a long week.. been studying for my CTs that have just started yesterday.. Yeah.. A saturday paper.. oh wells.. at least i'm getting used to it. so the 1st paper was pretty alright.. 1 Accounting module down.. Really thank God for bringing me through it. The previous night i was so afraid that i wouldnt know how to do so many things but that just goes to show the natural reactions of our human nature.

Disappointed.. I dont know, i just felt that the Hat party didnt fulfill its purpose of bonding the YF as a whole. Why dont the youths turn up for events now? i just dont know.. The whole youth group seems so click-ish(whichever way you spell it) that if someone in a certain group doesnt go for an event, the whole group just doesnt go.. I guess thats why the poor attendance for the events that we planned.. Somehow i'm just disappointed at how people say something and half way through it, they just change their mind.. They just dont know that their actions have an impact on decisions, on events, on plans that people have thought of. Do they think that life is all easy going and that everything will eventually work out for them? Or do they think that because they are not the ones planning the event and doing all the necessary items, so they can just take their time and do whatever they like? i dont know, but it sure seems as if they are thinking in that direction through their actions. Arent we suppose to be a community that reaches out? A community that encourages, and not form mini-groups and exclude the newcomers? Who are we suppose to be? Arent we suppose to show care and concern to those who are down and outcast? Arent we suppose to be the ones who show concern to those whom others neglect? These questions pop up and though i know that we all know the answers to these questions, but we just dont apply them into our lives do we? We know so much but apply so little.. We expect so much from others, but we dont want to lend them a hand in making things a success and when things go wrong, who do they ask or blame?

No i dont say that we dont deserve the blame if it wasnt up to expectations, i dont say that we have no fault because indeed there were things that could have been improved upon. And thus the feeling of Lost. I dont know what to do now. How are we suppose to improve on this situation and what are we suppose to do? I'm really out of ideas..

I guess this week has been a real turning point. GDOP was good. To see so many people having a time of corporate prayer, it was really good. I was reminded of a song that was played a long time ago.