Been studying the past few days.. cant say its been real easy.. with distractions all around, difficulty in understanding the topics.. Really Thank God that i managed to complete what i wanted to complete during the past few days..

The feeling of emptiness.. Funny how i posted something about this afew weeks ago when my whole being was pretty much full.. and now, i'm pretty much empty, looking for that something that can fill me up. The dreaded realization that you're all alone on this planet with nothing much more than yourself to rely on.

Studying is always the time when flashbacks occur( for me at least). When your brain is too drained, when you dont feel like studying, its funny how the simplest of things can attract you, like a bird finding nectar to the butterfly finding some place to land. I can truthfully say that i've been pretty stupid in the past. The things i've done, the words i've said, just thinking of it now really makes me disgusted at why i acted in that way, why i did those things and why i said those words. The past is something that cannot be erased from your memory, it is something that will always haunt you because of the poor decisions, the stupid things that you've done, and it is the only thing that i wish i could have changed. No matter how hard you try not to remember them, somehow it'll always surface once in awhile.. no matter how deep you dig to put all your unwanted past, it'll always find its way back up to the surface..

Friends (in general), the only people that are two sided. If you actually analyze things properly, enemies only hate/dislike you, dont even bother to ask them for a favor. Friends on the other hand, are mostly your companions, to help you in times of need, but when the time comes where they themselves are on the edge of the cliff seeking help, the rule of self- perservation comes into play. Forgetting who are beside them, needing their aid, they just run to protect themselves before helping others. Or when they are in big trouble, they "pass" on the trouble to you, making you their scapegoat.. Not saying if its good or bad.. this is just a reflection..